Me and my true soulmate and “wombmate,” Steven.

10 Things About Me You Probably Didn’t Know

Pamela Fender
6 min readApr 15, 2019

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Because I was tagged by Harper Thorpe in September 2018, I’ve finally gotten around to posting this for him and the rest of my followers.

  1. I was the manager and official scorekeeper of the high school track and X-country teams for three years. I got to travel to all the meets on the school bus. Being the only girl, I loved it. I made brownies for the boys. And handed out towels in the locker room. (Only kidding, but this was a running joke when the coach asked if I was going to hand out towels again this year. He’d ask me that in front of the freshmen team members just to see their reaction. It was ridiculously hilarious!)
Here I am with my twin brother taking attendance for the track team in 1972.

2. My favorite food is sushi and there is nothing I won’t try at the sushi bar. My favorite items are natto (fermented soybean, which nobody I know likes), uni (sea urchin, eaten alive) with quail egg, and ikura(salmon roe).

This is uni with quail egg. Y-U-M-M-Y. I always order it for “dessert.”

3. I learned how to swim when I was not even three years old. When my father insisted on moving to the Valley because house prices were extremely low (yep, I’m a Valley Girl), my mother demanded to have a swimming pool built. One of my favorite childhood memories was swimming in our backyard pool with my twin brother. We played this game pretending we were married and all the decorative tiles were places we had to go: work, the grocery store, and home. I will always cherish those memories; it brings a smile to my face.

I was probably closer to four years old here. Always loving the water.

4. I’ve broken only one bone in my life: it was my baby toe in ballet when I was 24 years old. A technician at Kaiser hospital (I hate Kaiser, a story for another time) put me in a cast up to my knee! I was given four different diagnoses from four different doctors and technicians. An x-ray technician told me, “To give you the unvarnished truth, no one knows what the hell they’re talking about around here.”
Six weeks later, I went to a friend of mine who worked for the orthopedic surgeon for the Oakland Raiders. He removed my cast, put me in an orthopedic shoe, and I was dancing on my toes in two weeks.
Kaiser never even contacted me for a follow-up to remove my cast!

I was in the community college dance troupe. We performed a classical and jazz dance performance.

5. I am an excellent cook. In thirteen years, I’ve only messed up two meals. Below is not one of them.

This is the gluten-free matzoh lasagne I made for Passover a couple of years ago.

6. I was the Joe Cocker International Fan Club president for seven years. I ended up working for A&M Records answering all the artists’ fan mail when I was 15. I stopped working there because I went on to get my BA in English at Sonoma State College. (Sonoma State is now a State University.)
I also was very good friends with Al Jarreau and got him a meeting with Artist Relations at A&M Records. They mistakenly didn’t sign him and he ended up signing with Warner Brothers Records and went on to earn seven Grammys and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I miss them both.

This was me on graduation day at Sonoma State in 1976.
Me with Al Jarreau back in 2007.
Me with Joe Cocker back in the early 2000s.

7. I love doing volunteer work. I’ve delivered holiday bags for seniors at home for Jewish Family and Children Services since the late 1990s.
I was the Vice President of Fundraising for a chapter of The City of Hope in southern California. Here I am below at the City of Hope 5K Run for Hope with our sponsor, Lakers Michael Cooper.
I wrote for my synagogue newsletter.
I was also the Mother’s Club President in my hometown. I wrote a column in their newsletter, too. It was pretty difficult after I wrote a beautiful poem for the treasurer who decided to step down. It didn’t take us long to discover why: she was embezzling from the club!

Lakers Michael Cooper and me at the City of Hope Run in 1988. (Notice where my hand is. I said to Michael, ”You’re so skinny!” He corrected me. “Slender.”

8. My twin brother phoned and said that he wanted to celebrate our 50th birthday with no one else, that we should go somewhere we’ve both have never visited. Below is a photo of us celebrating our birthday at an exclusive restaurant in Santa Fe, New Mexico. We had an absolutely fantastic time together.

After my twin brother was assisted in his suicide (no he wasn’t terminally ill, but depressed) by my narcissistic mother and sociopathic brother, I wrote and published my memoir, Beside Myself-Recovery From My family Betrayal and Estrangement.
http://amzn.to/1HsHsyw

This was us on our 50th birthday in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

9. I owned and operated Peppermints Children’s Hairstyling salon in Sherman Oaks, California. (My last name was Pepper.) Many of my clients were the children of celebrities, including a sportscaster, actors, and writers in “the business,” professional athletes, and one of O.J.’s defense lawyers who claimed he was definitely guilty, but he had a job to do…[to defend the killer]. (This was not an exact quote, but close enough.)

This was me getting ready to go to work. Circa 1991.

10. I’ve traveled to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Europe, Israel (where I lived for four months on a kibbutz), Egypt, and Mexico by myself.
Below are some photos of my travels. Enjoy!

Me on the Sea of Kinneret- 1979.
One of my favorite jobs on the kibbutz.
Guess where.
This was taken when it was allowed to climb the pyramids.
Just about to watch the sheep shearing in Australia. 1986.
A new little friend whose claws were digging into my shoulder. I still managed a smile here.
It was damn cold at the Fjords in New Zealand…in the summertime!
All-you-can-eat raw oysters on New Year’s Eve 1986 to 1987. I’m in heaven Can you tell?
Enjoying life in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in 1984.

I hope you enjoyed these photos and “10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Me.”
Please clap and comment. I’d love to hear from you.

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Pamela Fender
Pamela Fender

Written by Pamela Fender

Author of Beside Myself: Recovery From My Family Betrayal and Estrangement-A Memoir. Poet, memoirist, yogi, swimmer, animal lover, and political activist.

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